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..and...close and lock the door...everyone?...thank you to my lovelyassistant Pasquale...locked?...yes...and now, back up toyou, Vance, for the question...for...One...Million...Dollars." What," Kastor began, "is my middle name?"Although locked in the chamber, Corbett responded quickly:"It's." What? Wait a second. I knew his name about a half asecond ago. It's something with an `L'. No. A `B'. No. Notthat either. What? What was he asking me?Corbett Stirnweiss ceased to exist in any sentient way.Things began to seem so much bigger, shinier, cuter,through the translucence of the SwapMate 3000 canopy.Nakeder. Bustier. Prettier.The MC's assistant, Pasquale, happily volunteered to wrap atwo-sizes-too-small tank top over Corbett's enormouslyexpanded bustline, which had ripped open his dress shirt asthe contest went to Vance Igor Kastor. The SwapMate 3000forced the consultant's entire skeleton to contort intoa petite shadow of its former self, transferring an entirebiophysical genome in. " Yes, but I'm an elf."You look at her for several seconds. Then you laugh. "Nice one."She keeps a straight face. "You've never met an elf before, have you?"Before you can say anything else, she kneels down in front of you and pushes her hair behind her right ear. You take several seconds to let the new information sink in. Her ear is pointed."You're kidding me."She smiles warmly. "You must live in a far away country not to know about us."You look at each other for another few seconds, then she says "Sooo... want a ride?" Ride on what?"She laughs. "On me of course."You slowly begin to fear that you've completely lost your mind and are now in some part of hellish afterlife. "What?" Sex. You know, fucking. Do you not call it that?" I..." you start, but have to sort your mind first. "Why would you... I mean, not that I don't appreciate it, but - do you ask all random strangers for sex?"She seems a bit surprised. "Well... the sailors in Draethell are always eager for all the girls there.
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